You know more than you think about computers...

I want to thank one of our students in AZ, Patti W for sharing these-thought you'd enjoy them...they might just make you feel better about your computer skills!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine .. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry...

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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and....
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha , I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.

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Customer: I have problems printing in red..
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah.....................thank you.

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.===============

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah, that one does work.

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

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And last but not least...

Tech support: 'Okay Bob , let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P .
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob .
Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: “P” - on your keyboard, Bob
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

HOW TO KEEP YOUR MONITOR AND KEYBOARD CLEAN

First-turn the computer off before cleaning the monitor or keyboard…

Monitor ~ The new LCD flat screen monitors/TV should be cleaned with a micro-fiber cloth and water or solution designed for them-Most manufacturers recommend never using products that contain ANY alcohol, ammonia, or other strong solvents on LCD & Plasma screens.

Keyboard ~ First, turn the keyboard upside down and tap it gently to release any crumbs, dust, pet hair; Then versus paying for a can of compressed air, I use the cool setting on a hair dryer after I’ve tapped the keyboard ~ Be careful what you use to wipe it down. Electronic items usually come coated with a very fine film of glossy finish and this material can be damaged by harsh cleaners, especially ones that contain ammonia compounds or alcohol

Mouse & Phones ~ Especially this time of year (winter) I use alcohol wipes on my mouse and all phones at the office, at home and my cell phone; especially if and when the grandkids are around….

LCD Monitors - a few tips

Most Monitors/computer screens today are LCD, but what does that mean?
LCD means Liquid Crystal Display, mostly used in flat screen monitors and laptop screens.

Why should I worry about cleaning my LCD screen?
One of the most expensive components of a computer system or laptop is the LCD monitor or screen. LCD screens are easily susceptible to damage and scratches, so it's a good idea to make sure you clean it correctly.

Can I use any type of cleaning solution on my LCD screen?

NO! using alcohol or ammonia based cleaners repeatedly may cause permanent damage to the LCD. Over time using these types of cleaners could cause the surface of the screen to yellow. It can also make the screen brittle and eventually cause cracking on the screen surface. The following cleaners are unacceptable:

• Acetone
• Ethyl alcohol
• Ethyl acid
• Ammonia
• Methyl chloride

What types of cleaners are acceptable?

• Water
• Vinegar (mixed with water)
• Isopropyl Alcohol
• Petroleum Benzene

What are some of the basic supplies needed to clean an LCD screen?

• A soft cotton cloth. When cleaning the LCD screen it is important to use a soft cotton cloth, rather than an old rag. Some materials, such as paper towels, could cause scratches and damage the LCD screen.
• Solution of water and isopropyl alcohol. This solution can be used along with the soft cotton cloth.
• Computer wipes ONLY if they specifically state on the package they are designed for LCD screens. Computer wipes can come in handy for fast clean-ups or when you want to avoid mixing up a cleaning solution yourself.

How do I clean the LCD surface properly?

• Do not spray any liquids on the LCD screen directly, and do not use paper towels, this can cause the LCD screen to become scratched.
• Always apply the solution to your cloth first, not directly to the parts you are cleaning. You want to avoid dripping the solution directly into your computer or laptop.
• Stroke the cloth across the display in one direction, moving from the top of the display to the bottom.

TV & Monitor Differences - Plasma vs LCD vs LED

So many of you have asked "which TV or Monitor screen is better?" We hope these descriptions, pros & cons will help with your decision. Personally, budget to me is a major consideration because technology is changing so rapidly - so much technology today is considered "throw-away" so it makes no sense to invest a lot of money...

PLASMA SCREENS use gas plasma cells charged by precise electrical voltages to create a picture.

Plasma Pros:
• Better black rendering, contrast ratio and ability for more color depth
• Better motion tracking (response time) and available in very large screen sizes.

Plasma Cons:
• susceptible to burn-in (being reduced with technology improvements the past few years)
• they generate more heat and consume more power
• screen glare in brightly lit rooms
• heavier weight, and more delicate to ship

LCD SCREENS (Liquid Crystal Display) are layers of liquid crystal pushed into the space between two glass plates. Images are created by varying the amount of electrical charge applied to the crystals

LCD Pros
• No burn-in susceptibility and they run cooler than plasma & consume less power
• less screen glare, look better in brightly lit rooms & more functional at high altitudes
• longer display life (although improvements are being made in Plasma screen life)

LCD Cons
• Lower contrast ratio
• not as good rendering deep blacks
• not as good at tracking motion (but this is improving- look for at least 120 Hz or 240 Hz)

LED SCREENS (Light Emitting Diodes) use backlighting vs. fluorescent lights used in traditional LCD televisions

• LED Pros & Cons are almost the same as LCD but LED come with better contrast ratio, better picture quality , super slim and 40% less power consumption but higher price